Sometimes negativity feels like a dark cloak, heavy and saturated with everything that could possible go wrong. This weight is suffocating and it seems to surround you, totally encompassing your being. When this happens, you settle and accept it, you may go through your day being feeling really negative and accepting it as a way of life. But you don’t have to ‘just accept’ it. You may not be able to control when darkness weighs you down but you can control how you respond to it and this can prevent you from just ‘accepting it’.
The best way to deal with darkness and gain momentum is by starting with a positive environment.
I live with a lot of people and two dogs, mornings are not the most relaxing and that is a problem for me. I tend to function best when I can wake up to peace, without a million questions or loud conversations. This gives me the ability to gather myself, my thoughts and ‘wake up’.
When you are living with people this may not be the most ‘realistic’ morning, however, I can take steps to have more peace of mind. Some people can wake up and jump right into chaos, I cannot.
Now this does not mean I am not a morning person, I love mornings. However, I do hate ‘loudness’ it makes me anxious, and so for me to start with a positive environment I need quite. My solution? Some mornings I wake up and before I come downstairs I work in my bed for a bit. This helps me set an appropriate tone for my day and if I am feeling like I am lacking momentum then this is an easy and productive way for me to answer emails, messages, and make lists for the day. I also say some morning mantras and affirmations, which I have been sharing more on my instagram stories.
Then I wander downstairs and make tea. If I still don’t feel like engaging then I will sit outside depending on the weather, go for a walk, sit in my basement like a creep…or maybe I just sound like a totally isolated crazy person.
Either way this is what helps me become more motivated to achieve my dreams and goals for the day…or cleaning, cleaning really relaxes me too. Here are 5 things that help me get my momentum going and pull myself out of the upside down.
1. You obtain what you attract
“I am attracting unconditional love, abundance, high vibrational experiences and sacred connections”.
Whether you realize it or not, you are responsible for bringing both positive and negative influences into your life. What this means is by placing your focus on negative emotions and feelings, (living in the past, guilt, distrust, jealousy, judgment, negative ‘pressures’) then you will hold yourself back, strain your external bonds and put your dreams to a halt.
Your thoughts will impact what happens. But if you look for the silver lining in every moment then you’ll soon start to see the goodness and the beauty surrounding every good day and bad day. Being aware of your thoughts and how they impact you will encourage you to see that YOU have the ability to free yourself and take control of your mind. You can obtain what you attract.
2. Focus on the ‘can’, not the ‘can’t’.
There are some things that are going to be within your control, and there are going to be some things you cannot control. It is really important to understand the difference. I personally aim to take one day at a time and one project at a time. I focus on the present moment or activity and I let go of what I cannot control. Do not waste energy on circumstances that are outside of your control. You will only be hurting yourself.
Don’t sweat the small stuff because nothing will every be perfectly smooth and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can move on. Focus on the ‘can’, not the ‘can’t’. Only YOU can control YOUR own actions and reactions, no one else.
3. I do it for me.
Always do what is best for you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I made it a point to ask primarily for books for Christmas (I can share those on my website if you are interested!) The reason? I feel like I am always reading things that just leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth, negative comments, people fighting on Facebook, someone yelling about our orange president. There is so much hate and pain in the news, on social media and in the work place. So much judgement, people fighting and at each others throats. You need to stay above that and focus on the good in the world, because it does exist.
I personally avoid the news entirely. Sure maybe that makes me naive, but I genuinely do not care. The news is very dark and negative and what is shown on TV always overcasts the good things going on, and there is a such thing as good news too.
Try reading the good news, look at the positive blogs and read the uplifting motivational books, anything that will keep your thoughts clear, happy and inspired.
The latest book I have read, I am absolutely in love with. “The Untethered Soul” has completely changed my perspective and I quote it quite often! Oh and if you like something you are reading, highlight it and save it for later. It will come in handy the next time you need a little boost for your self esteem.
Surrounding yourself with positive people helps too. Get rid of those toxic relationships. I personally have never had many friends. We wander through this life forming and reforming MANY relationships. Many people come and go and whether the relationships are good or bad we learn from them.
In 2017 I started saying no to all the wrong things and I started saying yes to hell of a lot more! I said goodbye to some people I never thought I would separate from. I also learned a lot about some people that are still in my life.
I have learned that negative people and conversations will only divert your focus in the wrong direction. You will focus on all the bad things and this will derail your goals. Do not engage in the negative media, reading, news and conversations. Don't care what that might look like to others, do it for you.
4. Don’t overlook how important you are.
Everyone has something they regret and some of us have a hard time letting go. I want you to know that this is okay, you are human and this is apart of life. We all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them and keep being your badass self.
Let go of all that no longer serves you, say it to yourself if you need to.
“I let go of all that no longer serves me”
You are resilient and you are beautiful. Rather then punish yourself about the past why not celebrate the present? Always make time to celebrate, the big stuff AND the small stuff. My favorite thing to do when something little things happen is hop in the car and go ‘get a drink’ with my boyfriend. Now when I say ‘get a drink’ I mean drive to the grocery store and get a kombucha. I don’t drink, I am hypersensitive to alcohol and kombucha gets me all giggly and silly, this is my reward and I cherish these little dates.
Reward plays a huge part in staying motivated and it can be as simple as going getting a kombucha. You are worth it! Don’t overlook how important you are.
5. That stormy underworld, you know the upside down.
Oftentimes we forget that we are irreplaceable and we lose sight of how far we’ve come. This is my ultimate weakness. I am very hard on myself, and I have days where I feel like I am not enough. YOU are ENOUGH. I am enough.
Remind yourself of all the accomplishments you have, big and small. Make a special note of congratulations or anything that will keep you motivated. Read this when you are facing doubt and darkness.
I feel like I should refer to this ‘darkness’ as the upside down, because you literally feel like you have been transported to a stormy underworld and you are stuck there to shrivel up and die.
Infuse that mind with positive thoughts! Here is where the self love comes in. Talk to yourself! Talk to the second voice that exists in your head that is putting you down. Let it know,
“Hold up bitch, I can do ANYTHING I am special, I am irreplaceable, I am worth it…(insert some accomplishments here)”
This little moment will get you back on track and generate more positive results in your life. Purposefully infuse your life with a positive perspective and you will become addicted to all the good vibes. The good energy will keep you motivated and prevent you from ending up in that stormy underworld, you know the upside down.